Suicide Squad Review 

    You have to admire what DC/Warner Bros. is trying to do here. They’re like the guy that shows up really late to the party and starts to drink everything in sight in an effort to catch up. Yeah, 99 percent of the time it ends in disaster, but you have to marvel at their spirit. 
     But Suicide Squad comes up way too short to be deemed a savor of the DC Cinematic Universe. A growing trend of film studios trying to beat the ever loving shit of Marvel Studios, is this obsessive need to be grittier, and more “badass” than their rival. Well, add this mess of a film to the fucking bonfire. 

     With Superman dead as fuck, and Batman trying to put together a team, the government  (like Warner Brothers) is trying to cut in on that superhero action. Amanda Waller (Viola Davis) decides to put together a group of homicidal super villians, because that’s a good idea somehow, to lead them on suicide missions that government needs to keep quiet. Heading up this roster is Deadshot (Will Smith), along with Harley Quinn (Margot Robbie), Captain Boomerang (Jai Courtney), Killer Croc (Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje), Diablo (Jay Hernandez) all lead by Rick Flag (Joel Kinnaman), all the while being followed by the Joker (Jared Leto). What’s the suicide mission that lends credence to their name? Killing the Enchantress (Cara Delevingne) because Waller was stupid enough to unleash her and shit. 

     That’s a lot of shit to bring to the table in such a short amount of time. God damn it this movie is a fucking mess; I mean on a lot of levels here. Like rudimentary level shit, like a convoluted story and that’s not even the fucking worst of it. Let’s start with Deadshot and his backstory with his daughter. I get that you have to give some depth to a character, but this just came off as bullshit pandering to make a villainous character sympathetic. The Suicide Squad is supposed to consist of the worst of the worst. 

     As some of my previous posts can attest, I love Batman and his rogues gallery, but what was done to Killer Croc is a fucking disgrace to such a badass character. The fucker was useless. I kept wondering when he was going to do something, like maybe talk? 

      But that’s nothing compared to what these fuckers did with Harley. 

     I fell in love with the character of Harley Quinn ever since the animated series, so I know her fairly well. Margot Robbie was great in the role, but at the end she has to make a decision that completely betrays the character. I won’t go into spoilers, so some of you can see the movie and realize I’m right, but you can’t set up the very core of the character throughout the movie and then completely negate it for the sake of your god damn movie. I fucking shit you not, it took me out of the movie. I can’t even remember the last time that ever happened to me in a movie. 

     This sucks so much because I love director David Ayer, I so fucking do, but if Warner Brothers can’t even trust an established director that makes great movies, then what the fuck are they even doing? Jesus, these are some of the greatest characters in the history of comics and this is how you treat them? I said it before, and I’ll say it now:

     We deserve better. They owe us that much. 



The Most Tragic Scene in Any Batman Movie (That DC Must Remember)

     Lately, with all this talk about DC films, be it Suicide Squad, or The Killing Joke, I got to thinking about the comic book movies of my youth. That meant I was mostly thinking about Batman. While I was going through this nostalgia trip, I was reminded again of my favorite scene in any of the Batman movies. It’s one that even as a kid managed to stay with me. 

     The masquerade ball from Batman Returns. 

     This scene, possibly more than any other, shows why Bruce Wayne (Michael Keaton), along with Selina Kyle (Michelle Pfeiffer), can never be together no matter how perfect they are for each other. Which if you think about it, cuts to the core of both of these characters. 

     I have to start with how the mise en scene sets up the devastation with its symbolism. I know I’m not the first to catch this, but it’s important, that while everyone at the ball is wearing a mask, except for Bruce and Selina. 

     It’s because they’re already wearing their masks. 

     Bruce Wayne, and Selina Kyle are the alter egos of who they are. The people they really are, who they truly are, are Batman and Catwoman. The scene isn’t even subtle about it, with Bruce mentioning to Selina if they should go somewhere private and take off their costumes. I’m not fucking around, that line exists. Then comes one of the most heartbreaking lines in the series:

Bruce: …Who do you think you are?

Selina: I don’t even know anymore…

     That. That exchange gives us the reason that to be a hero, something must give. And love, joy, and happiness are not options in their world. 

     What blows my mind about this scene is that its so fucking psychological. The symbolism in both the props, the writing, and even the goddam music (the song is even called Face to Face).This is a movie that came out in 1992, back when comic book flicks were written off as being for “kids” or something with no substance. Batman Returns fucking proves that there’s more to superhero movies than CGI and action. Granted the symbolism in this film in particular may seem heavy handed, but it perfectly encapsulates the nature of its characters. 

     I just hope that DC and Warner Bros. keep this scene in mind, and that maybe the best thing to do is getting the right director for the material and letting them do what they do best. It worked for Tim Burton. 

Ghostbusters (2016) Review 

     Fuck, this is going to be one controversial review. It really shouldn’t be. Why does it need to be? It’s just a movie, after all. The funny thing is, the most controversial thing that should come out of this version of Ghostbusters isn’t the fact that it has an all star female cast. 

     Its the fact that a reboot this day and age can be fantastic, and even badass. 

     Erin Gilbert (Kristen Wiig) is about to receive tenure at her University, when a book on the paranormal written by her and former partner Abby Yates (Melissa McCarthy) threatens to thwart those plans. Upon arriving at her lab she meets Dr. Jillian Holtzmann (Kate McKinnon), and the three go on an investigation that gains them recognition. Thanks to client, then fellow Ghostbuster Patty Tolan (Leslie Jones), they begin to uncover a catastrophic plan to end the world.

     I know I’m probably the lone voice in this, but I fucking loved the movie and there’s no way of convincing the nay sayers otherwise. I kept hearing the movie wasn’t funny, but tis filled with hilarity. I heard that (insert actress name here) wasn’t funny, yet all of the main stars had many moments to shine. 
     Oh shit, and the supporting cast killed it in this flick. Especially the Mayor  (even though I’m sure no one is gonna see the movie, I can’t spoil who plays him). The cameos from the original cast were silly, and not too distracting. But Chris Hemsworth as Kevin the secretary just rocks the shit. I’ve never seen this guy be funnier, especially with his glasses. 

     Yes, this movie is a reboot and as far as reboots go, it’s pretty damn great. I didn’t expect to be moved once the origin of the Ghostbusters logo was shown. And holy shit the climatic battle of the flick, in a faithfully recreated 1970s New York was just jaw droppingly beautiful to look at. I felt such a surge of energy when Holtzmann (she’s my spirit animal) started punching the shit out of the ghosts  (I feel the need to clarify that she has proton gloves that she made). I don’t even remember the last time I felt such a cheerful thrill during a movie. 

     I know people on the internet are screaming that this flick ruined their childhood, but come on man. I have a preference towards horror flicks, and if you want to see skillful masterpieces being gutted and dumbed the fuck down watch any of the following:

Psycho (1998)

Texas Chainsaw Massacre  (2003)

Black Christmas (2006)

A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)

     I have seen shit remakes. God damn it I’ve seen remakes that shook my faith in cinema, but Ghostbusters ain’t that flick. Let me tell you guys some fucking truth: There was never going to be a Ghostbusters 3. I was shocked that people thought there was an actual fucking chance. 

     What I wanted out out this flick was something new done with the Ghostbusters property, and yeah I got what I wanted. I had such a great time, and it breaks my fucking heart that most people will stubbornly never see it.