Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice Review

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     Where do I fucking start with this? Having grown up with these two icons in both comic books and films, a crossover film was the stuff that dreams were made of.
     And director Zack Snyder somehow managed to fuck it all up.
     It was going to be a Herculean task to get the characters together, and after seeing Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice I never realized just how difficult it would end up being just to make a good movie.
     After the events of Man of Steel, Superman (Henry Cavill) is being hailed as a god, but also demonized for causing a shit ton of property damage and loss of civilian life. Batman (Ben Affleck) having seen this devastating fight from the ground, vows to take him down regardless of what his intentions are. Lex Luther (Jesse Esienberg) hates Superman too, just because.
     I wish I could give more of a synopsis, but its really a pointless endeavour. Not just because most filmgoers just want to see Batman and Superman beat the living shit out of each other, but there’s really not that much more to tell. The movie is a damn mess. I mean shit, most of the time I couldn’t follow what was going on story wise, and quite frankly, I couldn’t give a fuck.
     The performances were fine, especially Affleck, and Gal Gadot as Wonder Woman, but the action  and visual effects just overwhelm everything. And how hard is it to write Lex Luther? I’m seriously asking, since I have yet to see an accurate post-crisis portrayal on screen. It was just simply put, an over acting performance, that felt quite bad. it just feels like every actor who plays a villain in a comic book movie is doing a variation on Heath Ledger’s Joker, and Marvel is guilty of this shit too.
     What has gotten me so upset about Batman v. Superman, is the utter waste of a perfectly good concept. Ever since I saw Batman Forever as a kid, and there was a throwaway line about Metropolis, I started wondering if Batman and Superman would ever appear on screen together. I think we all have. Well, now it’s here, and I couldn’t feel anything. No excitement, no emotional pull, not even nostalgia.
     The frustrating thing is that there are flashes of fun and enjoyment sprinkled throughout, like the dinner party where Clark Kent and Bruce Wayne meet, and how Batman and Superman finally were able to realize they are on the same side. That last one was especially brilliant, but then director Zack Snyder has to drive home the point like you the audience, are dumber than a two ton bag of bricks. I see genius in a sea of excessive horse shit, and you have no idea how exhausting that can be. Unless you see it.
     Instead, what I was left with was just an assembly of parts that didn’t add up to shit. This is how you make a movie by committee, instead of you know, a genuine love for the characters. Since this exists in a different continuity as other Batman and Superman flicks (except Man of Steel), to say there’s character building or set up is a goddam joke. We as fans deserve better than this, we’ve earned better than this. And to anyone who says you can compare this movie to the Marvel output of films, I say fine. But Marvel didn’t put out The Dark Knight.

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