Aloha Review


     This is the hardest review I’m ever going to have to write, but the one that is the most important. Anybody who has talked to me for five minutes know that I’m a huge Cameron Crowe fan. I grew up watching Say Anything…, Jerry Maguire, and Singles, and I’ve made it a point to never miss one of his movies since they can be beautiful and sweet films. But Aloha… It’s one of the worst films I have ever seen, and I’ve spent the past couple of days wrapping my head around that.
     Brian (Bradley Cooper) has returned to his old stomping ground of Hawaii to facilitate a deal that allows the US military to build a new space station on the island. He’s assigned a liaison in the form of Allison (Emma Stone) while running into his ex Tracy (Rachel McAdams) who’s now married to the stoic Woody (John Krasinski). That’s pretty much the story, there’s politics and shit, but let’s not kid ourselves here, you’re not going to see this movie.
     Damn, where do I start with this? The movie is a mess, no doubt there. The incredible thing about Aloha is that there’s a wonderful, sweet, poignant movie trapped in a cynical, confounding, worthless horrible movie. Do you know that feeling? I mean, truly know the feeling of seeing sheer brilliance in utter stupidity? Bill Murray is in the movie (yes he really is) and gives a beautiful speech about life, while playing a heartless character with no redeeming value whatsoever. It’s fucking hallow. The whole thing just fucking meanders.
     My heart truly sank though in the last act of the movie. Earlier in the movie Woody has been established as a guy who doesn’t communicate, but Brian (as a guy) can tell everything he says through body language. Well, there’s a scene where without saying a word to each other have an entire life altering conversation. It was touching, lovely, and fucking hilarious. Why couldn’t the whole movie be this??? Instead what do we fucking get?? Some bullshit about a space satellite and nuclear weapons that I could not give a shit about. It spends so much time on this horseshit plot that it takes away from the beautiful stuff, the genius stuff; the Hawaiian culture and traditions that we get for one scene, yet I’ll watch that scene for two hours straight then sit through the whole movie again.
     Cameron Crowe is better than this. He really is, and I expect better. Not greatness mind you; just better than this. I won’t give up on him as a fan, I owe him too much as a moviegoer and film buff. Every director has, and ever will live, at least one bad movie in them; I swear to God, please let this be Cameron Crowe’s bad movie. I can defend Elizabethtown, and We Bought A Zoo, but not Aloha. When a movie is so bad that it makes you cry, you know you’ve fucked up. I’ll hold out hope that he can find his confidence again, and that he can produce the great movies that I know he can make.


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