Jurassic World Review (at long last)

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     Underwhelming is the key word in describing Jurassic World. That doesn’t mean it’s bad, just meh. Maybe I made the mistake of seeing it well after all the box office records were broken, and I thought this was going to be a grand scale epic. Whatever the reason may be in my mind, as the credits rolled I just thought, “That’s it? Oh, alright then.”
     It’s been 22 years since the Jurassic Park disaster, (the previous two films aren’t mentioned, but they’re not retconed either) and Jurassic World has been opened for about ten years now, being run by Claire (Bryce Dallas Howard) and overseen by Masrani (Irrfan Kahn), the park has been a huge success. As they’ve run of dinosaurs to clone, they decide to genetically cross breed them so that more people can come and make a shit ton of money. Once they realize that you really shouldn’t play God, and create unholy hybrids, they bring in Owen (Chris Pratt) who is in succinct terms The Dino Whisperer, to stop the Indominus Rex.
     I mentioned earlier how I found the whole thing underwhelming, I thought a long while as to why and came to this conclusion: it’s exactly the same as Jurassic Park in terms of action beats. I recognized that this time the park is open to the public, but it’s pretty much the same movie. Claire is the stand in for John Hammond, Owen is a cross between Grant and Malcolm, and the kids are the kids. You need kids in danger in these movies. Vincent D’Onofrio even plays the obligatory evil corporate/military guy that pops up in the majority of the franchise. And even after ten years of operation, they’re still having moral discussion about what the fuck they’re actually doing? Actually, that’s pretty funny.
     As I always tend to be honest with what I feel, this is the best installment hands down in the series. Of all the sequels, I’d watch this one over and over again. Yes, I laughed a lot. I mean, more than I probably should have. While Pratt gave a serviceable performance, there were plenty of times if I was supposed to laugh at some of the lines he said. He delivered them so seriously, yet they were written so poorly that it lead to my confusion, until I finally just went with it. At the end when he holds a glance with a raptor this went through my head, “He’s totally going to fuck that raptor. Now that, would be an ending.” How can I fully hate, or not recommend a movie that caused me to have that thought. The filmmakers knew what they were doing.
     One thing I do need to comment on, something that made the filmmakers did to earn my respect, is that Jurassic World is a commentary on how Hollywood pushes franchises onto audiences, and then add shit to them so they seem fresh, and people keep coming back. Claire herself states that attendance goes up when they open up a new attraction, just like the grosses for Jurassic World fucking shot up with the promise of a new monster, or a Marvel movie adds heroes to their films to make audience come back for more. Granted, I’m probably the only who saw into that, but hey it made me enjoy it more. The irony was too fucking hilarious for me to ignore.
     In the grand scheme of things, Jurassic World sets out to do exactly what it strives to accomplish: chaotic entertainment. I found it fun, maybe not in the way that was intended, but still it was fun. If you’re expecting the end all, be all of Jurassic Park movies, well keep fucking waiting for that shit because this isn’t that. As a summer entertainment, I’ve seen worse, much, much worse. I’d say have fun, I sure as fuck did, even if it was generic in its plot beats.

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